being real!

As we get to the close of the year, it is very important for us to take inventory on what has blessed us during this year and what has been a curse to our lives. I know it sounds harsh to use such words, but the reality of it my friend, it that anyone who has not been a blessing to you has been in the dog gone way.

One thing that is importnat is to look at who is in your life, and make the necessary chnges to move forward. sometimes this may involve getting rid. of people that have been in your life that have been draining your postive enegery. if you continue to tolerate the mess that is a clear indicator that you my dear are not ready for change.

You have no right to complain about what you allow or you give permission to operate in your life that is contrary to your goals. if you permit it then shut up about it. If you allow people to walk over you don't pray about the people hurting you to change, you need to change. Alot of things that we brood over we have the power within ourselves to make our life better.

I remember a lady came to me and asked me to pray with her to lose weight I told her I will not because what you need is action. not prayer! I know that sounds shocking but I was standing on a bibical prinicple found in the book ok James. Faith without works is dead.!!!!! Show me your faith and I will show you my works!!!.

I told the sister when you really get tired then change will come, when the fat hanging on your body bothers you enough you will get up and do something about it. That is just being real!!!

when you get tired of something you will get strength and wisdom on how to get things in order, you will take charge and get your life back. If you are not running your life someone or something will run it for you. And don't get mad at the direction you are going in if you will not take charge of your own life.

If you are still whinning about the problem you my friend right now are addicted to the drama of your life. When you have people in your life that will tell you the truth and you oppose the truth and continue in folly, you are telling yourself that you (I) am not worth the effort to make my life better.
And you wonder why the saga contiunes and you life is one soap opera scene after another it is because you are drawn to the gossip of people talking about you in a negative matter, and if things were going good you will find a way to sabotage. becuase you are sending a signal that you are not ready for change. when you get tired you will move action comes right behind being fed up.

Have you ever had a friend who was dating a loser when the person got tired the person moved out or moved on. or bought closure to that realtionship. If there is no movement toward chnage you are not tired yet

and that is being real!!!!

Love lady Dee

being real!

Living the good life!

What is the good life, the good life is loving you and then giving that good love to someone else!
you can not give to someone what you don't give to yoursel!. love you and become the person that you admire in others and that same reflection will come to you. in the persons that you meet in life.

getting rid of the garbage!!!!

Well we must all take out the trash in literally sense, and when it comes to life, we must become real and alert to what serves us no purpose!!! if if does not work for your life throw it away!!!

feeling great!!!

I truly believe that every person deserves the time to pull away and be alone, and reflect on their own lives... Literally that is where I am at in this stage of my life, I have decided for 2 weeks I will not talk on the phone, watch very little t.v. I would give myself an hour daily that is enough for me I am not a big t.v. fan... when I am not working I will just be alone, do some soul searching...

I have found this journey to be a blessing to my heart, I decided not to get any advice from friends during this time... I will rely on my inner wisdom that has been silent for way to long... Would you belive that I feel great God is giving me clarity on issues that have bound me for a long time, I would tell everyone to take the time out for you!!!!!!

do whatever it is to make the trip back home to you!!!! make the investment back into your life, your heart, your mind, your soul....

During the process I cried boy have I cried but I had to be real with me, I did things that I knew that Alfie needed to do to get herself back in the move of her life, I had to forgive myself for placing people above me, that was killing my life, I had to stop making excuses for people, and realize that the hard pill for me to swallow was "it is what it is" that statement is a hard truth little in words but heavy to the mind!!!!

When I had all the I could take I felt the need to retreat to pull back, let go, I didn't call anyone and give a explaintion, I turned the ringer off, and i didn't offer any alerts before I did my trip back to me, and I didn't offer any apologizies when it was over..

During my exclusion from the world, I got a pen an notebook, and I began to name the people that were in my life at the current time.... what were they doing for me, people do only one of two things deposit into your life, or take from your life... that is it, it will never be a grey area regarding that......

I began to look my realtionships that Iwas in, I began again for the last time, to explain my feelings to certain individuals letting them know if were to continue our relationships certain things will have to change... I have to be real these people made no change, so therefor I must change no more talking!!!!! Now it is time for Alfie to take action for her life, I did permanent changes to let these people know that Iam not playing....

You can never change anyone only you can change, and you have the right to change your mind... never keep anyone in your life who will not respect the wishes that you have for your life, love will never take one for granted!!!!!!


Yes I learned the gift of goodbye, and the power of letting go, embrace it and let God open the door for you becuase he has so much more for your life... Be strong enough to let go, whatever the mess you are hanging on to, if you trust your heart and let go, you will find the more waiting for you!!! love you take some quiet time out for you, be good to you, honor you, cherish you, adore you, have people in your life that feels good about you, have people in your life that when your name in mentioned around them they get happy, is reality to have people in youir life that adores you Hey I am one!!!!!

love lady DEE

false guilt!!!!

have you ever tried to help somone in the process of their turmoil of you tyring to help them.. things seemed to fall apart...That was not your plan but somehow you it was your fault, and you get the blame for all the hell that they are going through... Let's not mention the fact that they have a pattern of self sabtoage, that creates a repeat cycle of problems.. and turmoil..

What do you do in the cases sometimes you have to let things go, you hate to see someone that you love go through the hurt and the shame, but for the ones that we love with a iron will somerimes we have to let them run into the wall and jump over the ledge for them to find out it is danger on the other side..

Love is never describe as easy sometimes it can be tough and hard awakeing experience, loving a person that will not listen to sound instruction is sometimes like loving the wind.. You

don't know what way things are coming in and the direction that they are heading.. If you are with someone that is prone to drama and seems to graivate toward chaos... That is your single to let go of yoru grip and let their personal journey play out for them... You will never be able to change nor control a person,, but you will always be bale to have the strenght to let that person be who they are...

So stop beating yourself up if you have a child, a family member, a love one who is begging for th universe to punish them.. Until there energy around them changes they will draw the chaos... And if you find yourself outgrowing them, please don't fight the process let yourself grow and become the person you were designed to be...

You can't help someone that is unwilling to be help, sharing love, wisdom, time, and money to someone who is bound for chaos is a waste of time, so stop tyring to find ways in helping someone that is unwilling at this time in their life to change, it is not your fault, you are only responsible for you, nobody else, let the guilt go, when someone get tired they will change...

I notice certain behaviors patterns with hard headed people they always find faults and excuses in other people why their life is in a rut... My boss is against me, my friends are jealous, I could do better than them id I had the chance... so on and so on...

But the truth is they have the power to change their life... they palce blame on others as a decoy as why their life is in the mess it is in. That is fault guilt, you heard it and live it before, the reason why I can't do this is because of you.. That is a lie, do you really think you are the blame for people personal problems. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and until they do so you wipe your eyes and get you self together and get yourself sometthing good to eat and enjoy life.....

love lady dee

setting goals!

life is not a game you have to become serious about what you are going to do with your life. There is not chances for hit and misses you have to go after whatever it is and make it worth the while in life...

Having life without any goals is a life that is not worth having at all, why would you want to waste the precious time that God has given you in your life...

You will find that wasting life by letting goals slip out of your hands by waiting until everyhting lines up is a waste and will not profit you anything...


the best thing for me to tell is to do your dream live hard and go for it!!!!!

love lady dee

what are you going to do!!!

Yeah i"m being up front and in your face what are you going to do with the the life you are living are you going to just waste it, by making excuses or are you going to do something about it.

Please remember that you have only one life to live you don't get a second chance to make up for the flop you made of your life the first time.. That's how precious life is you pnly get one shot so if you mess it up there is nobody to blame but yourself...

So what is it I'm asking of you

1. take a look at your life, and challenge yourself see what you can get rid off, if it is toxic people, friendships, time killers, dream killers... Get rid of anything that is working against your goal..

2. set aside time for you, I can bet my dollar that you have been living your life for everyone else besides yourself.. Let go of the dead weight and know that you have the right to live your life to the fullest that God has for you.. It may sound like yeah I have heard that all before, but you have not listen you heard, you were sent to the earth with a purpose to live out loud and dream your dream...

3. Please know that you are special that you are one of a kind there will never be another you many copy cats but not another you. Have you really grasp that thought that there will be another person like you.. Wow that is a heavy thought and it should be a reminder of how special you are and why you should do all that ois in your heart to do... because no one will ever be able to master you trade like you...

4. throw the fear away, hey you have been through hell and back. You have lost a job, home spouse, friends had to literally start all over.. So what in the world do you have to fear nothing you have been through the worst... and now it is time to live the past is behind you and it is time for your life to begin...


5. take a chance make a move toward your goal, go enroll in the class, pay for the studio and cut your demo, stop talking about what you are going do, the world is waiting to know you in a bbig way... Listen if you have been singing in the mirror with your hair brush ever since you were twelve, chances are you were born to sing (hint, hint,) If what you really want to do with your life has not change... no matter what line of work you are doing then that is what you should be doing with your life...

love lady dee

yes it is about me!!!

I know that sounds like a hard phrase to say but when is that time going to come for you... Listen you get up early to get the kids off to school, and walk the family dog, and make sure that everyone is straight for their day before you tackle your eight hours on your job...

only to come home eight and half hours later to face the mayhem of shutting the day.. so the questions stills remains when is it you time!!!!!!

I know there are only 24 hours int he day but you have to learn to slice a piece of time for yourself... when you can juggle your schedule to make time for everyone do you know what signal you are sending to other people.???

Iam a door mat please walk over me, I know that it's sound crude, look at the people that you know in your life that put other people before themselves on a consistent basis..

look at how they carry themselves, how there apperance is, their posture, their confindence level, it may be alright it is not the best...

I am not talking about humanintaruim work here I am talking about checking the locator button that will not take the time out for you. my dear friend there is no crime taking the phone off the hook and having a bubble bath trust me the world will still turn while you are in the tub..

when you make a date with yourself you will feel your mind change bout how you view yourself.

tips on how to make it work...

1. first look at schedule look at what you daily, look at the things that have to be done, and things you can let go completely or things that you can delegate to others.. and began to set your week up according to the adjustments that you need to make.. If you have a family let the people that you live with know that you will be making changes in the schedule that will relfect the needed me time that yiur so richly deserve. Let them know that they should not worry this refresher time will allow you to serve your family better

2. after you change your schedule around find a day and a time slot that you can take of care you without any disturbances.

3. do something that you love, for me it is having a spa day at home whatever it is do make you feel good dothat very thing that makes youe feel special I need not to tell you you know what makes you smile so go ahead and indulge and enjoy!!!!!

4. make a routine to take of you when you do this you are a better service to others becuase you have taken the time to refill yourself

what you will not do is feel guilty about loving on you have you notice that the ones that take from you feel no gulit when the keep puting out requesting without ever thinking that you may be tired.. So why should you feel guilty about a much needed pamper session that you need..

If you have friends and you can schedule your pamper session together do I like I do with my girlfriends an have a waiting to exhale party

I supply the lite snacks and my home, i have friends each bring a item of choice the have pedicure nights, manicure, facials the works we all get time to laugh and talk and just enjoy being the creatures that we are... Just typing about makes me smile enjoy laugh love you and live out loud...

Love lady dee

learn to let go!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes the very thing that you are holding on to, is the very thing that God wants to tear you away from...

this cam be hard to keep in mind, we want so much to have the best in our life but this best coming to us will require have us to become active with doing some real life changes, that we may not at the time be ready to deal with..

so what do we do we look at out weight and we put off making changes unitl Monday because we want to start fresh....

But if we really serious about our weight the wait until Monday will literally drive you mad becuase there could be things that you can be doing now that make real changes in your life....

sometimes we are our worst devil in our lives it's not the fake friends or the haters those people will only empower if you use their aggression toward you the right way..

no one can stop you from doing what you want to do but you... Nobody can have the power to change your mind unless you let them.... If people can alter your thinking and make you think the way the want you to, my friend you have given people the power to do so...

I will tell you if real friends, love ones will never hurt you, real love will never front on you be fake, lie, steal, cheat, or degrade hit or make you feel less than who you are... Love is consistent when the times change... If you find yourself in a struggle wheter to stay in something or let it go.... Ask yourself this one question


Does it cause you pain??????? Then your answer is to let it go... Love will cause you to take risk yes, to believe when no one else dares to do so, but when you follow the path of love...


Love will never leave you ashamed of your choices.... So if whatever you are doing has you uneasy, uptight, on edge, then let it go.... Because whatever you permit in your life will only increase.....


Love lady dee

change is powerful

this is something that we all have to face chnage! we know it has to be done, but we hate to do it. But this is the process of life, letting go of the old and embracing the new. For me personally it has been hard, but when I looked at my life and I saw that I was getting nowhere fast, and my life was headed down a broken path.

I had to change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! change what my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to reprogram my thinking and began to do some real thinking,,,

For example one of my problems was putting other people before me... that had to stop I had to get real and embrace the thought that no one should go first before me.. I had to vow that I will not put others before me...


It sounded selfish in the begining but i had to open my eyes and realize that the people in my life that were taken from me, couldn't care less how I was making it. So was I going to keep living my life on empty for the sake of others...

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


real love is being in love with you... If you have people in your life that are always taking from you and never giving anything . You need to get started of letting the mess out of your life go, your real friends will never be offended by the change your are making to improve your life

don't fear the process love you and let the mess go!!!!!!!!!!!!

love laydee

take a look!

life at time can past you by, you may be wondering to yourself why are you here? why are you with this person? It is all about what you will tolerate in your life some people have more tolerance for one thing and none for another. it is all about what you expect out of your life.

if you are with soemone and the realtionship is going nowhere I mean it just is. It is time to look and deal with the reality of the blah in your life. remember nothing will not change if you will not confront it. It may be hard to do but it is needed if you want a better you in the end forget bout the other person for a while it is time to focus on you and what you want. I hate to say it but people do change and they do grow apart if you are not on the same level with goals for your life.

for example you may be a person that loves life, and dreams big, and is willing to take risk your partner on the other hand is stuck in their own life, with no goals, nothing to look forward to, eventually this will smother you, and wear you out because dead weight is hard to carry after a while. I hate to say it but then again I don't youy have to live life for you and if the other people in your life fall off. It was meant to be that way..

Love lady dee

Get some control!

Wow! I look at people and I wonder what is really going thru there mind, meaning why do people aloow so much drama to enter into their lives. Could you believe it is Feb almost valentine's day and people are still sweating the some stuff fighting over crap calling people over crap and what are they getting is more crap. I mean please don't they get wake and shut up! and get focused on what really matters.

let the drama go and get what you need out of life and that is you! nobody matters more than you and you have to fell that way, you are the best thing that happen to you. If you continue to let people drag you into drama, he-said she- said stuff truly your arua or engery is asking for the drama and it will contiune to come into your life.

If you love to hear gossip, enjoy hearing bad things happening to people, if you talk about people behind there back, and grin in there face, are you constantly talking about people mistakes when they have past outgrown their wayward ways. And do you enjoy watching people fall and have hard times? Watch out because my friend you are you are asking all of the above in your life.

Whatever you think about you will bring about and you will draw into your life, all the talking about people that you do it will come back on so ...

so watch your mouth and get control!!

love lady dee

Happy Day

Before we get full into the New Year, it is good to have clear goals set and be steady in your course. Please don't allow nay sayers and haters to stop the dream you have inside of you. To be honest of you with you nobody can stop you but you. Please be aware that you have the power to let people stop you people on there on can't stop you from suceeding in your dreams. Only you can give them the key to lock you up and keep you n bondage

Love lady Dee